Summer is my happy time.

It’s been really hot and truthfully I haven’t been outside too much but summer is still my happy time of the year regardless. The days are longer and for me that’s the biggest bonus there is… give me sunlight, sunlight and more sunlight and I am happy. Banish the dark and banish the night.

Even though it’s my happy time of year I have to admit to just not feeling like doing much.

What’s that about?

In the past few days, I repaired a trash can lid doing some plastic welding and felt like it was a major achievement. I also hung new drapes over my work window which also was something of an achievement. I have a long list of things I need to do around here and the truth of it is I just am not getting to things the way I should be.

Today, I realized I could very well be out of work before my birthday which would be very, very, very, very, very bad.

I simply am not at a point where I can afford not to be working and I am so close to achieving some major goals. Those goals though are dependent on me continuing to work so now the anxiety of looking for a gig raises its ugly head and the first order of business is to scramble around and see if I can latch on somewhere within the company by letting people know this project is wrapping up.

In all honesty? I’d really like to work a little more than another two years, maybe three and then just call it.

It’s so hard to save and so easy to spend it seems.

This year, it seems as if money is in even more short supply even though I have been working and I’m trying to understand why that is. I get a sense I know the answer to it aside from prices going up and my salary staying the same but also some decisions I made as well as some things changing.

Medicare is good but it isn’t great and it is surprisingly expensive between all the premiums and the out of pocket expenses.

Last week I was off for most of the week although I did peek into work from time to time and I had set things up in such a way that the train kept moving forward.

You’d think I got a lot done but I didn’t. I did get a medical test, saw some doctors, met a friend for lunch, took another person out for their birthday and saw Supergirl as well as made sure my cousin got flowers for her birthday and it seemed like the week went by fast. I’ve got another week off coming up and honestly I can’t wait and the another week in the beginning of September but all in all it just doesn’t seem like there is enough time to do everything or maybe it’s that I don’t have the energy.

I keep trying to think about what I did that was so earth-shattering but then I remember I did a lot of cooking. There’s always cleaning to do too… I’m just mister excitement what can I say!

Testing… testing… testing…

We are all of us preoccupied with tests.

When we are kids, we all get to take those standardized tests in school (although not having children I wonder if they are still doing that). For my peers and I that meant being given two pencils and a form that could be scanned by a computers where you filled in ovals with your answers be it A, B, C, D or E.

After you got past those tests in the lower grades, the next big round of tests you got was the SATs. I never took an SAT but I did take a PSAT and scored well. Go figure. It didn’t really do me so much good as I wound up dropping out of high school and then going back to get a GED later when I couldn’t get myself a demeaning low level job and was angry and annoyed about it. Needless to say, the GED thing was a piece of cake and after a night class of a month or so I aced that. Never mind I was ready to graduate midway through my junior year and only a credit or two short before I transferred from prep school to local NYC public high schools where there were metal detectors and education was something of a joke.

Now that I’m older, I get to have the fun of different kinds of test but these tests are even more important then ever before! These are the medical tests!

They are CT Scans, MRIs and Colonoscopies where they look inside of you to figure out where your body went wrong or things have gone awry.

This past week, I had another one of these CT scans, another test. The thing went well and what’s wild is that now, I can log in and actually read the report and look at the images to see everything. One group of doctors orders the test and then I take the info, download it and then upload it so another group of doctors are in the loop.

It’s really kind of amazing when you think about it but a lot of the hoops I jump through are because of the Byzantine way insurance and the whole medical bullshit is set up.

If my doctor who works with a particular hospital arranges for a test it can cost me thousands of dollars but if I arrange the test myself and get the preapproval and all of the lined up it only costs me the $160 dollar co-pay. Think about that… one is a bill for over $14k and the other is $160 out of pocket and tell me again that everything works!

Anyway, I’m off this week and doing self maintenance but checking in on work to keep things moving. That’s some vacation, right? Nonetheless, I don’t want my life to be crazy so this is what I do to keep the waters still. Today I will go see the Supergirl movie, pick up rock salt to salt the earth and kill some unwanted greenery, buy flowers for someone for their birthday and likely go to the local food pantry to gloom some food and coupons for the local farmer’s market. Plus there are other assorted errands to run. It seems like a day but I never get enough done and today, I only managed to wash the dishes and order new drapery for a specific window and nap.

I live an exciting life to be sure but it’s all good as I binge watch Severance.

I’ve been caught up with work.

It’s fascinating in a way, I’ve been so preoccupied with other things between work and just self maintenance I haven’t had the wherewithal to stop and take a break. I also find myself ever so occupied getting into the three versions of soduku on a local newspaper site… easy, medium and hard. I find the easy something less than a challenge and focus on the hard and medium mainly.

I watch things going on and I have to say it’s just fascination how the same group of folks want to project, project and project some more. Who are they? Well, they’re the people who believe they wear white hats, they believe they are ‘freedom fighters,’ they think they are ‘protecting Democracy from fascism’ when the truth of things is they are upset at not getting their way.

All the things they say they are against they embrace and blame the people they don’t like because by projecting they deflect away from taking responsibility for their own behavior.

This week, Democrats were upset because the guy with the Nazi tattoo, a man who not only raped women and was something of a misogynist finally was no longer able to shield himself from his past. This was after a party that is so entirely corrupt and hungry for power couldn’t support the lies anymore.

The people who went around chanting ‘believe her’ not too long ago, once again showed themselves to be total hypocrites who actually did everything they could to discredit victims and not just one but many. The same way they did with Joe Biden, the same way they did with Eric Swalwell. These are the same people who want to have people believe the bullshit story by E Jean Carroll about a purported sexual assault that happened amazingly in a crowded department store in the middle of the day in Manhattan really happened. Never mind that entire charade had been one of the party’s biggest financial donors, Reid Hoffman. Never mind that Carroll had spent the better part of her life tearing down men (ask John Johnson) writing books and columns that defined the word misandry.

Yes, these same people wanted to deny yet again the behavior in their own that supposedly they found outrageous.

You see it all had to do with winning.

That’s what it’s all about you see. It has nothing to do with lofty principals. It only has to do with getting their way and imposing their wills upon others.

And they call the people they dislike fascists, what a joke.

These are people who genuinely believe our nation is evil and root for the true evil in the world.

They are just sad.

But as sad and pathetic as they may be, they are very much a threat. Democrats you see have always cheated. What do I mean? I mean if you know your history, then the I can tell you it’s pretty easy to look it up.

The Democrats are the people who gave us the KKK. There was a reason they were rabid about tearing down all those civil war statues, about removing the names of all those confederate military officers and the like. 

“Those who control the present, control the past and those who control the past control the future.” 

If you remove the evidence of the past as the Democrats want to actively do, then you can create and control the future. Want to trot out the lie that ‘the parties flipped?’ How about a few other examples…

We also have Tammany Hall in New York. Tammany Hall another political machine of the Democrats where Democrats harvested immigrants and used them to win elections (sound familiar?). Go look at the Scorsese movie Gangs of New York, it’s not a secret. If you know New York’s history, then you know that Democrats had a machine that ran the city for decades.

The city reformed under mayor Fiorella LaGuardia, A REPUBLICAN!

Oh, so I’m just lying right? And that’s an isolated instance. And The Jim Crow South that was run by Democrats and Tammany Hall also fun by Democrats are isolated instances… sure, right?

But then, there’s the Daley Machine in Chicago:

The potent Democratic machine that dominated Chicago politics for nearly half a century formed under the leadership of Anton Cermak, a Bohemian immigrant of working-class origins. After the death of Cook County Democratic leader George Brennan in 1928, Cermak secured control of the party hierarchy and defeated Thompson in the 1931 mayoral campaign.

Chicago STILL isn’t a working city and has only swung further and further to the Left. Imagine… a PRESIDENT CAME OUT OF CHICAGO, HIS CHIEF OF STAFF WAS MAYOR AND THE CITY IS EVEN WORSE TODAY THAN IT WAS BEFORE OBAMA CAME INTO OFFICE!

But wait… let’s just write that off to racism on my part, right? I mean because I dare criticize someone of color that means I have to be a racist even though he is aligned with the party that gave us the KKK. I mean you really CAN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP!!!!

Oh and New York… it wasn’t as if things got better because Democrats regained control and bought the city to the point of bankruptcy. The guy that followed, Ed Koch? The great thing about Koch (who served three terms and we have to remember that when Giuliani talked about running for a third term in the immediate aftermath of September 11th was called derisively Mussolini) had the wheels come off as the city had one Democratic scandal after another starting with Donald Manes, followed by Stanley Simon, Stanley Friedman and Bess Myerson.

That corruption NEVER WENT AWAY!!!

Every major American city in the hands of Democrats has suffered.

Here’s an even better rub for you… you will hear Democrats talk about crime figures being higher in red states that in blue states overlooking the facts that both NYPD and LAPD don’t report their crime statistics to the FBI or the fact that they have decriminalized many things meaning it’s not that crime has gone down as much as they decided to stop enforcing the law.

But to get right back to the red state/blue state myth… when you do a deeper dive, what you come to find is that the most crime ridden areas in those red states, the ones that are the most responsible for those higher crime figures? THEY ARE CITIES THAT HAVE BEEN IN THE HANDS OF DEMOCRATIC LEADERS FOR DECADES!!!!

Little Rock Arkansas, Memphis and Nashville Tennessee, Baton Rouge and New Orleans Louisiana the list goes on and on and on… blue islands in the middle of red states that are like a tumor on the body politic of the nation.

The point here is that for all the hysterics of our friends on the Left… they are the cancer. The things they touch, they destroy. They believe in building a bigger bureaucracy no matter how inefficient it is.

Democrats love unions and one of their biggest supporters are the teacher’s union and the teacher’s union has destroyed education in this country. A recent study here in New York came out with these jewels:

Remember this number: 906.

That’s how many perennial failure factories, out of 1,600 city schools, are allowed to fester year after year.

They enroll 409,379 kids, or 43% of all NYC public school children.

Just how bad are they? In 503 of them, the majority of students failed both math and reading last year, some for a whole decade.

Despite massive amounts of extra resources and attempts at reform, these schools have never successfully turned around.

And bizarrely, the more a school fails, the more categorical federal aid it qualifies for — which gets siphoned into more money for adults before reaching any students. 

Meanwhile, education funding forever ratchets upward: Mayor Mamdani is handing the Department of Education $38.6 billion this year — an increase of almost $4 billion from last year, despite plummeting enrollment — with no strings attached. New York City spent $40 billion on public education in 2024 — $36,293 per pupil, double the national average of $17,619.

And catholic and charter schools are both giving students better outcomes. Kids are failing but DEMOCRATS who get the support of the UFT don’t do a damn thing aside from digging deeper into your pocket.

And that’s by design, don’t think it isn’t because only a fool would vote for Democrats who promise everything will be free and the world will a great place but will only turn around and make excuses and blame other for their failures. 

Just remember all of this you hear another Democrat yell about fascists and protecting Democracy and all that other bullshit they’re pushing because it’s simply a lie.

Doctor, Doctor, Give me the news!

I don’t know if anyone is even paying attention anymore but the BBC pulled the plug on Doctor Who thankfully. The show has been a pale imitation of what it was ever since Jenna Coleman left the series. I for one was not crazy about Peter Capaldi’s doctor. In all honesty since the relaunch? Matt Smith was my fave, there wasn’t a bad note in any of those series and he’s follow by Eccleston and then Tennant which likely surprises a lot of people.

Smith had this great chemistry first with Arthur Darvill and Karen Gillan and then with Jenna Coleman. I mean there are episodes that leave me in tears. They’re beautiful, they’re dramatic and they tug at my heart strings. I think some of the best episodes were made with Smith’s doctor, The Impossible Astronaut, A Good Man Goes to War, Let’s Kill Hitler, The Girl Who Waited are just great episodes to watch. Then you have Asylum of the Daleks which is really heartbreaking and The Name of the Doctor which is one of the best episodes ever.

It had gone downhill after The Name of the Doctor and never matched it.

Peter Capaldi was bad, Jodi Whitaker was worse and then Ncuti Gatwa was the final nail in the coffin. Mind you, NONE of those folks are bad actors, they’re just not but the trapping of the stories around them just continued to go downhill as story became secondary to pushing an agenda.

I’ve seen people say that Doctor Who shouldn’t be considered what it was which was a show that was geared towards family watching and children and I have to wonder, WHY NOT?!?!

I mean, what’s wrong with making an entertaining show like that? What’s wrong with leaving your agenda at the door and writing things that can be true to the source material and make people happy.

What’s great is that you had people who called the folks who weren’t happy with the direction the Doctor Who franchise was taking all sorts of names. All the while the ratings just kept dropping and dropping. Some people just don’t learn.

And the critical drinker sums it up once more.

So they’ve been running this commercial…

I actually like the commercial where a guy is asking his ‘devices’ to do things and they just keep getting it wrong or ignoring him. It helps that they’ve got one of the most kick ass songs of the seventies playing under it even if it isn’t the artist and just a cover. I keep thinking how lucky I am to have gone through two really great musical periods both in the 70s and the 90s. It’s not that I’m dissing the 60s which for me was one of big AM radio but I was a kid for much of that and as a kid you listen to the things and the radio that other people put on. The 80’s had a couple of years in the middle where things were in flux.

Getting back to the original thing though… one of my favorite bands did a cover of this star’s songs, Take Me To The River which is a great cover of a great song and the song is STILL AS FUCKING GOOD as it was when it was first released and I defy people to show me anything that comes close to matching it today:

The incredible Al Green!

The things I’ve forgotten.

Okay, maybe not forgotten so much as put them aside only to come back and rediscover them and feel joy at the rediscovery.

I have this project I keep procrastinating about for the blog and I find myself dabbling at time doing research for it. In the course of my travels I came across this and really it’s just amazing. The sad thing about this is that such a creative person was battling the very thing that made him so amazingly creative… himself.

We see this across history, it’s really gruesome. The other, the outsider, the feeling of being alone that allows someone to have an ability to take a look at the world around them and capture something many feel but can’t put into words. The thing that’s horrible that this person didn’t understand is just how many other people felt like he did and he really wasn’t alone at all.

So, I ask you to watch this and take in the beauty of it. There’s a simplicity that is absent from a lot but the simplicity here only manages to clearly display the strength of the music and the message:

The raw quality of his voice and the emotion that comes through is just stunning. Mind you… 139 days after this performance, this man would eat a shotgun killing himself. How sad is that? He was in pain and he felt that nothing could help him, he turned to drugs and still the emptiness inside of him was doing its best to swallow him whole.

This is very similar to depression, the hopelessness that seems all consuming and what’s horrible is what didn’t happen. People around him DID love him. People around him DID want to help him. People though have a problem with mental illness though, as if it were contagious, as if it were something the person could just FIX!

Here is what Cobain left behind, again… in my book I honestly wished he had held out longer and gotten the right kind of help but that help likely would have meant taking quite a long break from the thing that was his world, his band and his music. I wish he had taken the time out to step back because he likely had a lot more to give the world. I just want to say as someone who has dealt with this kind of a struggle my entire life that if you are suffering in this way, go out and find someone… a professional to talk to. Read about what’s going on inside of you and work on your own inner voice and thought processes. It never really goes away but you can at least make it so you don’t feel as if you are inundated by the high tide and drowning.

To Boddah

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complainee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I havent felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things.

For example when were back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins It doesnt affect me the way in which it did for Freddy Mercury who seemed to love, relish in the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I cant fool you, any one of you. It simply isnt fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if im having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch in time clock before I walk out on stage. Ive tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God, believe me I do, but its not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when theyre gone. Im too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, Ive had a much better appreciation for all the people Ive known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. Theres good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why dont you just enjoy it? I dont know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I cant stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that Ive become.

I have it good, very good, and Im grateful, but since the age of seven, Ive become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. Im too much of an erratic, moody baby! I dont have the passion anymore and so remember, its better to burn out than to fade away.

peace, love, empathy. Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, Ill be at your altar. Please keep going Courtney, for Frances. For her life, which will be so much happier without me.

I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU! 

 

I’ve got to hand it to the Critical Drinker…

There’s right and then there’s TOTALLY RIGHT!

This is funny.

I will say this, I did watch Starfleet Academy during the period of time that I did have access to Paramount Plus. I mean there was no reason NOT to watch it.

The thing was, it took place in the shithole mess that was left by Discovery. Discovery is, was and will ever be the turd of all Star Trek shows to ever be foisted on the fanbase. Nothing that anyone can say will change me of that opinion. Apparently Paramount is trying to wipe the stink off themselves…

Well, I’m once again trying to clean out some drafts.

I don’t know but it seems lately a lot of the big companies haven’t been able to get things right when it comes to classic properties whether it be Star Trek or Star Wars or Marvel. The problem usually is that someone, somewhere along the line, gets it into their hand that they have to mess with something to make it more ‘equitable.’

This happened recently in House of the Dragon where suddenly there is a Corlys Velaryon is cast along DEI lines. Whenever I see this, it strikes me as being the same thing that happened in the old Charlie Chan movies where a White Guy was playing a Chinese detective. Neither really is right so can we stop it?

I got to thinking about it… back in the nineties they had this show. In the show there was a transgender character. It wasn’t a big deal at all back then and we’re talking about way back in 1993 when the show started!

HOW COULD THAT BE?!?!?!

But, it’s true. The lead character was Black and it didn’t even make a ripple.

See, what happened here was that all of this was done not because boxes needed to be ticked off, not because they needed to have a ‘Black actor’ or a ‘trans person’ but because within the mythology of the universe the story was set in none of this was forced and story was what was driving it.

It turned out to be much better than any of the dreck we have today and better still, some of the shows they ran at the time dealt with issues so seamlessly and so well without putting the ‘show’ of checking of boxes that no one even thought of it being all that outrageous.

The show I’m talking about actually is one of my favorite shows ever and that’s Deep Space Nine.

People today think when you write or produce a TV show you should be ‘inclusive’ and the truth is you really shouldn’t. You should just write a good story and when they cast they should cast along the original intent of the story. Deep Space Nine was great not because it checked boxes but because it had fully developed characters and still dealt with issues the way Star Trek does when it’s at its best.

I would suggest anyone who doesn’t believe me go and take a look at this episode of the show and tell me that any of the shows where they do ‘inclusive’ casting does a better job at dealing with issues:

FAR BEYOND THE STARS